Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
