Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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