3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
