I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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