There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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