I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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