I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
