I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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