I wish i was in the wii world.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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