shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
