And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I supernannyed him into submission
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
