Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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