in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
