you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
