i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
