I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
