Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
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Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
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When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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