I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sext me about skeletons
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
