I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
