I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She bit a glass in half.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
