I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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