oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize