i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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