i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Text me some of your sweat
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