i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
