piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
