i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
