it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
