Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
