my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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