Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
