someone get that fucking seahorse.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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