She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
