She's JV to your varsity
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
