Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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