take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
