Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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