Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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