No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
