Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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