Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She's the barista slut.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
