New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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