Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize