We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
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