two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
