I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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