Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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