Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize