Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
