Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
