Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
