am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
