The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
