My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
