just tell him i said nine months
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize