Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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