it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
