I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize