Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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