Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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