The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
