they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
